Me: Chakli mari, chakli jevi… Chuck chuck chuck chuck tu… Akho divas chuck chuck chuck chuck… Hu taro…
Chahel: kaboo!
Me: And Chakli and Kaboo are?
Chahel: Besh frends…
I sang ‘our’ song – one that i created, to my 4 year old daughter Chahel as usual trying to make her sleep…
My 9 year old son, Aarav was lying on his side of the bed… I asked him if he wants me to do ‘thapa thap’ i.e. Patting on the back, chest or forehead to make him sleep… And he said no & turned on the other side… He now just wanted me to stay in the room for him to sleep…
I realised how quickly he was growing… He was very soon going to be closer to the time when he will be staying away from us in a college campus then the time he had been with us since he was born… And that realisation crushed me…
Jainee always tells me that our children are growing up fast… And that every moment we have with them is precious… So no phones on dinner tables… And she also told me no phone as well while making them sleep…
And yesterday night I decided not to look at my phone while just being in the room whilst they slept… And I couldn’t control that inescapable feeling that my son is now very soon no longer going to be a child… He has already become quite independent… He doesn’t have the innocence of a small kid anymore… He is that inquisitive, fast learning, exploring on the threshold of teenager now…
Now his childhood is only in my memories… And even he looks with glee and a chuckle at his infancy snaps…
And me and Jainee have even discussed one time what we think he is shaping up to be in his core skills and attitude… Trying to figure out what vocation he might suit better into… And where his best college education might just be… And it ended with Jainee laughing… Because I generally do not become emotional… But she knew and she told me… You are going to cry so much when he goes to college… You are going to that time realise what missing someone really feels like 😦
And then I looked at my Chakli… Thank god she was still young… We had another few years to enjoy her childhood… Jainee already feels we are losing it quickly and she is the last we have :(..
I started to hug her… She likes to be hugged while sleeping… Feeling her short curls in my fingers, warm and soft cheeks on my palm, her small fingers running through the hairs on my hand, her small feet exploring my belly… And my other arm almost trying to squeeze her in… I just wanted to feel that moment so strongly so that it gets etched in my memory forever…
And she moved her head… And said ‘papa… water is coming from your eyes’… I wiped it off… And started thapa thap… With now pictures flashing on my mind of how tiny she was when she came in our life…
And how so quickly she has developed this amazing character of her own… Eating with both hands anytime, wanting to play all the time, sharing and caring for Aarav but also expecting same in return, physically quite strong to not get affected by small injuries, emotionally however quite sensitive to praises and scolding alike… And how she wanted to be that typical Elsa and Barbie… So unlike Jainee.. whilst she looked so much like her…
I kept brooding about her..
And don’t know why… But a sound unconciously whispered out of my mouth… As of it was a desperate call from my heart for it to be heard and its wish recorded…
Me: Hu taro Kaboo…
And Chahel whispered back… Hu tari chakki…
And I moved my head back… Lest my princess wake up now feeling the water from my eyes again…
Note: translation of the song below:
Chakli mari, chakli jevi (chakli = sparrow, so here it says my small child is like a sparrow)… Chuck chuck chuck chuck tu (chuck = sound of a sparrow eating away food or talking… So my sparrow is eating food or talking).. Akho divas chuck chuck chuck chuck (akho divas = full day)… Hu taro (i am your)… kaboo (pigeon)!
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