What not a kid makes you realize…

Is it not amazing how a man who would defy and rebel against the orders of people many times his senior, if he did not agree with their views – irrespective of the consequences…

Bends down on his knees and give in to the most obtuse, insignificant demand of his small kid – all with a smile – always…

How suddenly the gravity and depth of parenting are realized – with utmost pride and respect towards your parents and their abilities / sacrifices…

When you start imagining how you would make it possible for your kid to achieve all you did…

How suddenly the rush that comes from hanging on to the train with half body outside or driving fast and reaching somewhere fast is no longer as motivating…

As the fear of losing your life and leaving someone so tiny and vulnerable, all alone in the world…

How suddenly the memories of how you used to enjoy with the most insignificant amounts of money and material comforts at your disposal – all come flooding back…

When you go all out – caring hoots about money – in giving all for your child…

And then observe that neither does the kid care about the costs … and is happier in banging 2 cheap steel vessels together and giggling and gurgling and laughing on your reaction…

Or when on getting a little older, gets bored very quickly with whatever he has and always wants more at that moment – with absolute disregard for the value of money…

How suddenly the things that you left 10 years back – after college – all start coming back one after the other…

The living life in vacations – when kids don’t have school… going to sleep on time and getting up on time – for kids, school going time… doing homework and projects… and you thought life is not a full circle…

How that miraculous feeling of life and being able to see how you developed sets in …

Seeing your child develop from extremely dependent, unthinking toddler to an independent achiever in his own – and realize that this is the same path you took…

How satisfying, pleasing and unarming that sweet smiles from your child are…

Even when you are totally frustrated with life, angry like hell or bursting for revenge – and it could be due to something that the same child has done… but yet the same effect…

And how it suddenly makes the cost of every sacrifice you make in raising a child to seem so insignificant…

Compared to his hugs and cuddles at night, a kissy on your cheeks, his clinging on you like a monkey when he is scared and his riding on your back when he just wants to play…

And some say it’s impossible to be god… am sure this is probably as close as it can get to at least experience what god feels…

Just typed in by a learning father…

– Written on 10 December 2010

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