Inside VG…

If anyone asks me today, I would tell them – just don’t marry or have kids. What is the point – there is no meaning to life. We are by default unhappy and are in constant search of happiness… We find some temporary joys and then we are bored, frustrated, tired, angry… Constantly then again … Continue reading Point of life – 4 perspectives

Criminal justice – behind close doors, Pink, Thappad, Article 370… These are all some recent Hindi movies or series that are centered around abuse of women… And I remember them because after watching everyone of them, I have not slept well… Feeling very emotional, agitated in some cases and thoughtful in every… Why do I … Continue reading Uneasy lies the head…

Hey, what’s up! This innocuous greeting has a deep subconscious undertone. By default we expect people to have something going on. And whilst it’s normal to respond with “oh same old” or “nothing much”, that response has a hint of dejection – as if we wish we had something new or exciting going on, but … Continue reading The whats new, what’s up issue!

I have realized that the amount of my fear of losing what I have in my life (including my life itself) is basically the value I place on those people or things… So when I feel afraid in anticipation of losing any of it or sad or angry on having lost any of it… I … Continue reading From Fear/Anger/Sadness to Gratitude…

The Haunting of Bly Manor is a Netflix series where the basic premise of the ghost is someone who has trapped herself in a desire for leaving her material possession zealously to her child and when unable to do so continues in that quest after her death. And that quest continues to an extent that … Continue reading Ghost’s are real!

I just finished watching “The Scam – 1992 Harshad Mehta” and it left me crying… not just tears… but some gasps and a subtle wail escaped as well in spite of my best efforts… I know it is a dramatized version that somehow does glorify the image of a person who gamed the system wrongly… … Continue reading Trust & Hope – the foundation of value!

An admission upfront – this is my theoretical take on depression based on second hand experience. I do not understand what is depression. I do not know what it is since I have never in my life so far (at time of this writing, 6 months away from turning 40) come even close to anything … Continue reading Depressing reality?

I write this in times of lock down’s of varying degrees around the world including where I am (Singapore)… and thanks to social media, people are trying to motivate each other by sharing how this is the time which everyone dreams of – spouse’s getting to spend time with each other, kids getting more attention … Continue reading Its all about choice…

Is it selfish? Jainee asked candidly… We were discussing moving countries and the pains around them… And she remarked that the first thought that comes to her mind is what will she do in the new place… and that brought this question to her… obviously we won’t even consider if it’s a place that’s not … Continue reading Is it selfish?

You take me for granted… Jainee sighed… After 2 days of cold silent treatment, I felt I should try to figure out a way back to normal – even though I knew it must be something I would have done… so I asked and got this back… I was genuinely taken aback… I know (& … Continue reading The slap of being taken for granted…

“As per section 375 of Indian Penal Code, will and consent both are required… And will is put before consent”… Submits Richa Chadha in the Indian movie Section 375. It is an interesting movie – if not for a 30 second clip at the end that destroys the whole movies unbiased-ness (& to be honest … Continue reading Intent!

If someone were to tell you that Facebook, Watsapp, Google, Instagram, LinkedIn, etc… or any free app or site you are using that identifies you with your email id or some other identification is eavesdropping on you…. using it to manipulate you… that they look for more and more pervasive data to mine you… that … Continue reading The great hack!

Proper credit for inspiring the below visualization belongs to Mark J. Perry at the American Enterprise Institute. The underlying data come from the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics, which keeps detailed records of consumer goods as well as average hourly earnings. Of course, these figures take into consideration inflation. Before you read any further, spend … Continue reading The graph of human desires!

Why the heck you want to change? That is the title of the blog… Inspired from the movie Bala that I just saw… I should admit that Bollywood movies in the last few years have been quite intelligent, realistic with times and not very so called “filmy” or over the top… and yet super entertaining… … Continue reading Badalna kyu hea be?

I was recently lodged in a government hospital for a couple of days (why is another story)… All around I saw old people twice my age looking for subsidized healthcare… And I realized that the issue of ageing population is real – for relatively young office goers like me who are surrounded with younger people, … Continue reading Misplaced solution!

I have been very close to my maternal side of family since childhood as we stayed in the same area and my mom heavily depended on her mother (my grandma) to raise me or help out in my infancy… I was almost raised for first few years at their place by my grandma and till … Continue reading Grandma 😦

My 10 year old son Aarav told me that he wants to boycott school… His school has a program where kids watch CNN 10 minutes news to make themselves aware of the world affairs… and the story of Greta Thunberg caught his attention… Talk about the school not having thought this through… And imagine the … Continue reading Neglected Solutions!

Me and my wife, Jainee were discussing at a friends home over dinner to where we might end up retiring (ya it typically happens with anyone who has left their base, I guess)… given that we were no longer in our “home” country – India, but were not sure if we will be able to … Continue reading The unhinged mind…

Via our expressions, words, actions… we can communicate a range of emotions. There are many things at any given time and we cannot ever convey everything about anything or everything fully. We choose what is relevant and attempt to attract attention to that aspect through our communication. And hence when movies or plays or any … Continue reading Disgusting Heroes…

I should have become a lawyer… I like debating and playing devil’s advocate to gather more depth of understanding… And also probably there is the thrill to see if I can pull off divergent opinions… It was one of the evening’s with a very good couple friend of ours in Singapore with whom I like … Continue reading Meandering thought’s…

“Why is it that one can be proud about their country, their language, but not about their caste? Everything is about labelling people. If its a country you are patriot, for language you are a patron but for caste you are a fanatic… Fucking hypocrisy”… – Dialogues from Tamil movie Super Deluxe. I have to … Continue reading Paradigms of Pride…

Bejaan patharo ko mukkamal chattane banata hai kaun? (Who makes lifeless stones to become strong mountains?) One who see’s beauty and purpose in them… Without someone seeing the beauty and purpose, the highest and strongest of mountains are just lifeless stones… It is one who finds it magnificent gives the mountains their meaning… Andhe samandar … Continue reading Kaun? (Who?)

“I don’t think I will be able to go back to a home without a pool”… I told Jainee, sitting from the patio of our rented home overlooking the pool of our condo in Singapore… My younger brother always used to tell me that there is a pleasure of lifestyle living but it never appealled … Continue reading Dangers of borrowed happiness…

“Dear Aarav and Chahel… So, I was always under tremendous pressure to get married from a very early age (as early as when I was 19)… So when I finished my Chartered Accountancy at 22 and had a decent starting job, I was even under more pressure and had to start meeting prospects… Jainee’s proposal … Continue reading How I met your mother?

“Jab Mill’o ko inhone bandh karvaya, tab aadmi ki kimat kum aur zameen ki kimat badh gayi… us zameen par inko yeh uncha uncha building bana ne ka tha… zameen khali karvaya kisne? apan ne… aur aaj, is uncha building mein baitha kaun hai? Builder, Leader, Businessman… aur upar baith kar mujh ko neeche dekhta … Continue reading Yeh Gangster Hai…

  Me: Chakli mari, chakli jevi… Chuck chuck chuck chuck tu… Akho divas chuck chuck chuck chuck… Hu taro… Chahel: kaboo! Me: And Chakli and Kaboo are? Chahel: Besh frends… I sang ‘our’ song – one that i created, to my 4 year old daughter Chahel as usual trying to make her sleep… My 9 … Continue reading Hu tari chaki 🥰

I am writing this from Hangzhou airport in China on a Thursday afternoon… Waiting for boarding to start for my flight to Hong Kong where I spend an evening and a few hours in office the next day before I fly again… midday back home to Singapore… A stop over that wasn’t planned but one … Continue reading Guilty of Privilege…

“Stop preaching… its only been a week”, Jainee sighed in exasperation recently when I was giving her the pearls of my wisdom on not being hooked to social media… After all, like my last name sake – who was just a little bit more famous, I was doing my own “experiments with truth” on myself, … Continue reading Freedom of speech – Slave of an audience!

A friend of mine is lost… He is almost dulled out… In his mid thirties, he is going through the motions of his life – married and settled with 1 kid and a decent paying job, a home of his own and parents who were not dependant on him for anything… His wife is a … Continue reading What defines you?

Whenever I think or share my (my dad’s really) humble background and the financial hardships & my mom’s climb down from her riches to rudimentary lifestyle tale… The overarching emotion is of gratitude and pride… Thankful to my parents of having brought me and my brother up with a happy childhood in spite of limited … Continue reading Concoction of emotions…

Glad to be of service… When I started my first corporate job at start of 2003, I used to end all my emails not with Thanks & Regards… But glad to be of service used to appear as the last line above my name… I don’t remember why and where I picked that up from … Continue reading Glad to be of service…

“I got pregnant when I was barely an adult and then went on to have another 3 more babies… This is for him and her who believed in me and gave me the chance to do whatever I do today”… I overheard a lady talking at a different table… The group had already downed many … Continue reading Joy to the world…

Jainee & me were strolling leisurely on Orchard Street in Singapore – enjoying the Christmas decor, on our anniversary after a fun filled day… and were reminiscing – wondering how our lives had changed… And how neither of us could have predicted or had even aimed for such a life like what we had today … Continue reading The horror of freedom…

“Ghar ne disc banavi dese” (she will convert home into a club)… I had candidly described Jainee almost 15 years back to my closest friend after I met her as part of official marriage proposal – and with her I celebrate 14 years of wonderful married life tomorrow… What I meant was that she will … Continue reading Full of life!

Everything is subjective. There is no real purpose or direction of our life. Our universe and everything in it, including our life is transient – nothing about is transcendental, it is ever moving and evolving in chaos and by chance, without a purpose driven direction. It comes out of nothing before like it and goes … Continue reading Everything is true… Nothing is…

Yuval Noah Harari believes that humans are moving towards immortality, divinity in the quest for eternal happiness. And this pursuit will result in a completely new species – from current homo sapiens to homo duos. A being so different in its mind, that the current morals, and philosophies will cease to be relevant. What will … Continue reading Our desires, Our extinction, Our stories…

Dhrumil was a pampered child as the oldest son of his disabled, but affluent parents. He got all he wanted from birth as such. Though they were rich, his parents were always conscious of their physical disabilities and did not want their child to feel inferior because of anything. Nevertheless, along with the riches, they … Continue reading History – The winners account of reality.

Most of the things we know of our external universe is just a theory… A theory that is mostly based on proofs by inferences… We observe certain things with the limitation of our senses… Limited mostly by the light waves captured… And then theories made around how those light and other energy wave observations must … Continue reading Kaleidoscope, Heartbeat, Universe…

“You will now never go to the casino unless you are just showing it to some tourist… And even then, not play again”, instructed Jainee (my wife) after I lost 300 dollars on a spur of the moment trip to the casino… And her writ is more overbearing then any rules by anyone… I argued … Continue reading Everything’s a gamble, Everyone a player!

If our earth was a day old, we humans have appeared in this last 1/4th of its second… think about that for a minute… 4 billion years old earth, human species has been there for only 70,000 years… That fraction is less than a blink of our eye… To make it even more mind boggling, … Continue reading A blink in world’s time…

There is a fantastic article and video on the experience of a 22 year old Ben Page, who cycled to arctic circle and his near death experience… Its fascinating, realistic, inspiring, philosophical… Simply brilliant… I was telling a couple friend we have in Singapore over a dinner on a Saturday night. They are highly read, … Continue reading Rendezvous over insanity!

Why are we the way we are? Why we think what we think… The way we think? Why do we want what we want? What do we really want? These are the questions that are fundamentally that interest me… Everything flows from there. And I am starting to believe that every thing flows from the … Continue reading The basis of everything!

Of the people, for the people, by the people… That has been the most popular definition of democracy since Abraham Lincoln said it in 1863. And that process of governance has captured the imagination of the world ever since, after centuries of monarchy before it. It gives or is supposed to give people the feeling … Continue reading Fallacy of Democracy!

In the hindi movie 102 not out, a 75 year old father is shown to have bound himself, his happiness, his purpose of life… To his US based son who is extremely selfish and insensitive… Attempts are made by that father’s 102 year old father to bring him out of that zone and make him … Continue reading Persevere or Move on?

I just finished watching the Netflix documentary “Wild Wild Country” that is on Rajneesh’s commune built in Oregon, USA and the entire story around it. And I did not want the documentary to end… I was in tears for some inexplicable reasons… wanting the speakers at the end to just keep talking… I was shaken … Continue reading The Cult…

I am still in that trance zone and unsure of what I saw. Still can’t believe that this was or is the life of many. Still trying to figure out what was that. I came to know about Osho ashram when I was about 18 yrs old and my first cousin got married. Then when … Continue reading The Cult!

There was a meme going around on social media, that millennials are offended today with the slightest of things. Compare that to teenagers and young adults of the era before who faced grave challenges and yet lived through it. It eludes to a wrong parenting approach – that of raising pampered kids and entitled teenagers. … Continue reading Wrong applause… Wrong definition…

I usually am asked about my age once in a few months… not for any specific reason, but just generally. New acquaintances, someone’s birthday – including my own, some form to fill in, and so on. But it does not register anything in mind all the time… But at times, I have realized it now, … Continue reading On the other side of my time…

There is a Mexican parable about a businessman and a fisherman… The fisherman was taking his afternoon siesta on the beach when the passing by businessman asked him why doesn’t he go and fish more instead of sleeping like this midday… The fisherman asked why should he do that, to which the businessman explained how … Continue reading Victims of our expectations…

In a hindsight 2017 was a stupendously eventful year for me… post Oct 2015, life has been all different in reality… and last year kept the pace up. Vacations during the year… or was it a year during our vacation? We had 5 leisure trips in the year – a record in terms of the … Continue reading My 2017 that was…

“The idea of you is better than you in reality”… My wife blurted out in one of the many exasperating moments she had in my month-long garden leave. Whilst I could write about how I still manage to have a happy married life after starting with such a statement, pacifying your wife and managing marital … Continue reading Idea better than Reality!

So what are the biggest complains you have with your government? I asked my Singaporean colleagues out of genuine curiosity. I view Singapore as a fantastic place to live with the government having provided state of the art facilities… and so somewhere in my guts I was expecting them to respond like the princess sleeping over 40 mattresses … Continue reading Nation – a people collective…

I recently read an article on depression amongst the wives of US H1B holders who were on H4 visa and could not work… Thousands of very well qualified women whose dreams of doing something in life the way they wanted to, has gone down the gutters… Ironically in the place where people go to chase … Continue reading Helpless & Guilty…

To keep the confidence that you can do it when you are ridiculed by your family constantly of your failures in life… To do that in face of belittling of your small achievements by your loved ones… When you can say ‘mereko na har cheez main mazza ata hai’… Even when there are hundreds of … Continue reading Main kar sakti hain…

“It saddens me that you do not support this”… a dear friend blurted out in agony when she asked my views on a recent trending topic… For a moment, just out of affection for my friend, my mind was about to give up, please her sensibilities and spin a story on how I was deeply … Continue reading #NotReallyMyCause

Vaibhav, like many other such events, you don’t remember the seriousness and the pain that incident in our life caused… My wife accused me whilst having a discussion on a difficult situation that someone else was going through… She never forgets to use this emotional amnesia that I am supposedly having atleast once in a … Continue reading Emotional Amnesia…

Mohabbat-e-ishq ka karz kabool hai… Hamari saasen hum asal, Na chuka paye to wafat kabool hai…… (Love’s loan I accept… my breath is the collateral, If I cannot repay, death I accept…) Raah jannat ki hai ya qayamat ki, kashmakash us ki nahi… Iztiraar hai unke sukoon ki, justajoo mohabbat ki nahi…… (Whether the road … Continue reading Urdu Couplets 🙂

I recently made a trip to India… It made me rethink… Where is home… My wife and kids are in Singapore… All my personal effects are in Singapore… But my parents and sibling would be in India… I own my property in India… My closest friends and relatives are in India… Where is home??? I … Continue reading Home???

It was 1 am in the night and after a lot of discussion… my wife gave me a revelation… If your spouse or loved one spoke too highly of someone too many times or was spending too much time with someone of your gender… What would be the first question about that person that would … Continue reading Insecurities…

I was just talking to a dad of my son’s friend in a birthday party where we both had to kill sometime… The topic veered for no reason (like it usually is in such situations) towards how the kids were getting to school… I told him that we took the bus even though we are … Continue reading Coaching a child – or yourself?

Sitting on a nice Singapore beach, i was thinking how this fisherman town has transformed… And my thoughts wandered and tread upon the fact how so many big cities and human population had grown by extraction from the seas and the land… And I googled something to find this: an organism which lives in or … Continue reading Earth’s Parasites…

Humans define their self worth partly in their achievements and partly in acceptance of their achievements by others… Achievement nevertheless is the key… And the size of it is determined by the size and severity of obstacle they represent… They are subjective and different for each human… Bigger the hurdle, higher is the intensity of … Continue reading Challenges – Happiness and Growth

We can measure progress and gauge the direction of change in human life by analysing the basic drivers of life… what for did the humankind struggle… What did it really work towards… Before civilisation survival was the key goal… Just pure ability to sustain against the animals and nature… Post civilisation, food, clothing and shelter … Continue reading Measure of human progress…

A lot has been said about Trump, Modi, Putin… There has been a renewed focus on nationalism and patriotism… Sitting in a foreign country on India’s republic day, kind of have a contrary thought… Stephen Hawking has said that its best not to search for aliens as it may not turn out to be good … Continue reading Aliens unite!

Attended #humanlibrary in Singapore again… Met the lady who runs a magazine which is trying to fight discrimination of any kind using feminism as base… Met a German lady married to a Singaporean and heard her story on how she is trying to ensure she fits in the Asian society and her nuanced endeavour for … Continue reading Human Library…

Honesty is not a virtue unless trust is established… Integrity is not presumed by words and takes observed actions to be believed… What one thinks of oneself in their mind is not what perceptions of that person that the world necessarily carries… Words – no matter how eloquent can never convey intentions without the bond … Continue reading Honesty and Trust…

17 days vacation to Switzerland and Austria in summer… the longest break ever taken in adult life… and for the first time with no kids since they arrived (8 years ago)… and with a spouse, you have been with for 13 years… When we (me or my wife) share this with people, almost always, the … Continue reading Second Honeymoon!

“​I have never shared this with anyone except Vaibhav…”, my wife wrote on a group chat… I was surprised… Whilst they were out closest friends, I was not sure if she should have shared that… Maybe it was out of my possessiveness of her – the loss of being the only one to have known… maybe that exclusivity slipping away … Continue reading Mental Nakedness…

Austin is a small city… but my wife’s friend who moved from Toronto loves it there… “Our whole community has moved here from Mumbai… except for my parents, I have my siblings, cousins, my husbands siblings, cousins, our uncle’s, etc… we even have 2 Jamat Khana’s”… she was convinced… her operative phrase was “our whole community … Continue reading Communities…

I am not sure… How will you manage work and kids… Maybe I should call my mom or your dad to help… My wife’s concern were geniune… 17 days is a long time to leave me alone with the kids – whilst she would be on the other side of the world… And me in … Continue reading Home alone!

Have to confess that the title has a negative connotation… Being a question… And one that is often asked with a lead towards the response for being a no. But that is not what I meant to do… I just came out of a 2 day offsite coaching where we brainstormed a lot of ideas … Continue reading Is it worth it?

At every nook & corner, the group kept feeling further lost… At every nook & corner, a few stayed behind, groups strength was further lost… At every nook & corner, an amazing new world was found… At every nook & corner, a new society was being found… Continue reading Perspectives!

Believe quantum physics alludes that when we move at speed of light, time will appear to stop… I am feeling that the opposite could be true… That is not motion or movement but the lack of it that will cause time to stop for us… That we are like mosquitoes in a train (train being … Continue reading Time, Life, Soul…

At every turn of life, I took the trodden path… Success hence felt easy, right from the very start… The adventures of my youth, all of them turned out good… And now with a heavier baggage, again at crossroads I stood… The stakes were now bigger & ambitions of youth in me are few… And … Continue reading A turn!

I have a theory… That total weight on earth always remains the same… If we build high rises somewhere a mountain is disappearing or say the human population is increasing – but overall trees in the world are reducing… So some people I know who have gained a ‘little’ weight should find the shameless people who … Continue reading Earth’s weight…

On the dinner table we were discussing that our helper who has come from punjab and stays with us in Singapore alone, will be celebrating karva chauth… our 7 year old son, curious as he always is, asked what karva chauth is… and my wife… hard core feminist as she is, replied curtly it’s a … Continue reading Karva Chauth 😐

When we walk on the road and we see someone in trouble, we would tend to help… Not thinking if it was their fault… Or if they deserve it or not… But in office, we think about what we think of the person and whether he or she deserves our support before helping them… In … Continue reading Expectations

How many of us relate to this picture? In so many different ways can this picture be seen… To take a path less taken… To not follow the norm… The herd… Live carefree… Be yourself… To break free… Leave the drudgery behind… Each of it is different in a nuanced little way… A picture speaks … Continue reading Paths…

Visions were obscure, like the raven walls, Plagued was life by insipid, wading thoughts, I threw open the window and what did I see? Displaced was gloom of eerie darkness, Like a dusky nightmare by elated day…   Now in this symphonic silence of dawn, My soul dances to exotic singing of god, For the … Continue reading The window of life…

No exquisite phrases for thee, I find in my insane memory, For to portray thy sparkling shimmer, my wildest imagination’s just a glimmer, Like that of dancing million sparkles, lingering on the oceanic waters face, Torched by a drowsy sun that fades, in the bosom of a horizon that awaits…   Vivid articulations of mine … Continue reading Sweet Corpse…

Ablaze is the fire, Inclement is the snow, Life unstable on the bier, In the domain of death with servitude, I flow…   Mellow is the feather, Callous is the stone, Oh! So many my wishes, my hanker’s galore, Disappeared in the void of vanity unknown…   Captivating is the flower, Repulsive is the thorn, … Continue reading In the lap of death…

Life a flower, in the garden of god, I was a green bud, in me a flower forlorn, Incarnated as a gardener, your intimacy I got, For that in this paradise, nothing more I sought…   My image obscure, in your thoughts clarity, For that against gloom, vividity I see, You abated the impious elements … Continue reading From a pregnable bud to a divine gardner…

As the unrestrained tides of time, rages to the threshold of an unknown new course, Rest calmly with a soothing wave at your feet, for a moment by the shore, Ponder back through the journey made, muse over the alterations on your seabed that the drifting water has made, And with the insight that evolves, … Continue reading Before you flow…

​Is it not amazing how a man who would defy and rebel against the orders of people many times his senior, if he did not agree with their views – irrespective of the consequences… Bends down on his knees and give in to the most obtuse, insignificant demand of his small kid – all with … Continue reading What not a kid makes you realize…

​“It is the black crow… it touched me again today”… my mom told me when we had to pull curtains for a few days in our small mandir (worship place) at home… I was a little boy so young that I do not even recollect my age group… but I cannot forget her story… for … Continue reading It is the black crow…

“Be what you want to be… and you will be awesome”… said, my son, when he was 3 years old… interjecting in some adult discussion me and my wife were having. I felt so amusingly happy… because that is exactly what we had been feeding his mind in subtle and unsubtle ways since his birth… … Continue reading And the gold goes to…

One thing that I have started feeling amazed about in the last few days when I think of Aarav (my 6-week old son), is how he is a mirror to my past and how amazing the growth process of life is… How from a feeble being who can’t even convey what he feels (except for … Continue reading Mirror to your childhood!

I am kitta with Prakruti… little Aakanksha said with her little finger stretched out… she always looked cute & when she was cross like this, she really made a really adorable figure… Pan suthayu (but what happened)… why are you angry with Prakruti today…?  I asked, just for the heck of enticing her into having a sweet … Continue reading Does maturity kill innocence?

Anand was so ecstatic… he was probably bursting with joy along with sutli bombs that he was setting off in the month of September (a good one month before Diwali)… Jash & Umang were dancing tirelessly & gleefully (if not gracefully!!!) right in the middle of the road to the sounds of a dhol (& … Continue reading Mercenaries of Cricket

A juvenile on the strands of life, en route his pristine stroll, Etches the virgin sand, opens his heart and soul… He tries to assert, he shrieks & shouts, but his convictions remain untold, As fleeting yet resolute waves, run down the mundane shore…   Burning the midnight oil, fuelling it with sacrifices of delights … Continue reading Arduous Achievements

Little Shravan was very happy gorging a modak… boy, he loved sweets… being the so perceived cultured and knowledgeable “kaka” of his, he asked me why he got the modak today… to which I simply replied, that since he attended a puja of ganpati, he got it as a prasad… and being the inquisitive chap … Continue reading This is “normal”…

Aarav, my 6 year old son came one day and said “Ananya have mari friend nathi… aapda ghare avi ne, ene Chahel sathej ramvu hoy che”… Ananya is the 5 year old daughter of one of my best friend. She and Aarav have been in the same school bus since 3 years and practically been … Continue reading Celebrating Differences…