Full of life!

“Ghar ne disc banavi dese” (she will convert home into a club)… I had candidly described Jainee almost 15 years back to my closest friend after I met her as part of official marriage proposal – and with her I celebrate 14 years of wonderful married life tomorrow…

What I meant was that she will bring all the fun, frolic, excitement, thrills, joys and dreams in to my life and I will not probably not have to aspire anything outside… The sentence was based on a previous incident in my life where my dad had stopped me from going to a club and told me there was no need and I can put on some music and call my friends and he will get some lights and lo & behold – the club would be at home itself – what else I wanted (seriously – my dad could have simply slapped me and said no; but he chose to cut me – a 16 year old kid down that way, 22 years back)…

Anyways… The point that got me thinking was… That I associated and still do, Jainee with life… Vivacity, action, festivity, doing one or the other thing exciting… Highs and the lows… Ever moving… Social, vibrant, strong thoughts… You get the drift…

And I realise that is the general definition that people associate the term “Full of life” with… Like that party at sundown on the beach – blaring music, jazzy lights, carefree dancing… Like that bar on the heart monitor that keeps fluctuating constantly while it keeps moving…

But surprisingly, a lot of major philosophies want people to be unattached and unaffected… Stithapragnya… Like the beeping straight line of a heart monitor… Or the vision is of a satisfied and content soul… Like that of an outstretched person just relaxing on the beach looking in to the horizon into nothing…

How different are these concepts… the chase for living with a “Full of life” personality and the vision of living a content, unaffected, relaxed life without any action affecting you…

And I have that confusion in me all the time… I regularly pride myself for having made the most accurate assessment of Jainee’s true nature and having made the right choice for her as a partner (& counting the blessings that she said yes as well)… For which I have had and continue to have a life where the social connection, the celebrations, new and novel experiences keep coming…

And on the other hand, when given a chance, l now just enjoy having a relaxed holiday on a pristine beach or on a snow capped mountain… How when am asked to plan, I end up choosing the most easy going activities and make predictable, tried and tested choices of restaurants or activities… A spa, movie, dinner at known restaurants, board games, stand up comedy shows…

Of how if things are not what I expected them to be or if they are not in my life anymore, l just so easily move on… Unaffected and unattached… Relationship, places, things…

And how still when Jainee gets me to enjoy new activities or places – I cherish them and the become my new favourites… a patio unit as home… Middle eastern food… New friends… dine in the dark… human library… home kitchen ideas… Introducing public libraries, circus for kids… Just everyday activities…

I am to be honest exaggerating… Its not so black and white… And I am not a lazy sloth who likes no change… When planning vacations, I am the one who wants to cover as many natural places as we can… See new places rather than revisit old ones… That in office I am constantly looking to new ways to make things better… So puh-lease… Make no assessment of me as an old indian babuji…

Yet – the dichotomy is so apparent in my mind… how I enjoy my life and feel ecstatic with a full of life partner… And yet, how I am also happy generally moving on or staying put as a content and unaffected soul…

Well – what the heck, I guess I have the best of both worlds… And a blissful married “full of life” life 😉