If anyone asks me today, I would tell them – just don’t marry or have kids. What is the point – there is no meaning to life. We are by default unhappy and are in constant search of happiness… We find some temporary joys and then we are bored, frustrated, tired, angry… Constantly then again searching for the next few moments of joy. Life is like the universe – very dark by default with light only around the stars that are comparitively few and far between.
All the meaning we give to our life – is our manufactured own. There is nothing real about it. Nothing universal. Nothing permanent. Its a make believe thing we create for ourselves to get through this ordeal.
What would we then miss if we were just not born?
Akanksha was poignant. She was sounding very Gautam Buddha to me. Buddha’ philosophies very first premise is that dukkha (suffering, incapable of satisfying, painful) is an innate characteristic of existence in the realm of samsara. Thankfully Akanksha has not gone to the next 3 premises of Buddhism which talks about relenquishing desires and almost following a monastic life devoid of attachment. But Akanksha is a jain – a religion which has almost similar principles. So I never know if she would go ahead in future on such a route.
I tried very hard. I have my own story of what life is about. Its nothing but experiences and memories.
What I mean is – there is no specific purpose for which we are born. To that extent I agree with Akanksha. We make something’s our life’s calling by choice – not for that end result in itself… But because we believe that the journey and the end achievement will give us an experience we will cherish and also hold it in our memories till we die. A future aspired joy, if in present an exhilaration, and if in past our nostalgic pride.
And yes those things meaning is only subjective to us… Not universal. Those things would be temporary and we may move from one to the another… But in the end its all about us getting through those experiences and holding those memories.
And they always need not be pleasent experiences. Incessant struggles, moments of shuddering fear, downright depressions, abject failures… All of it come as that package. And we just collect them in our journey. Our endeavour is to behold all those experiences knowingly as part of life and move through them… And train our mind to find when they become memories how they meant something for us. And pass away peacefully – being happy that we got to have the chance to go through them.
I tried hard to explain that to her. But for Akanksha – just it did not resonate. To her the fact that its temporal, subjective and just painful at rest held true. She said that whilst I label as being a Jain/Buddhist at core, I was being a Hindu – where as Bhagvad Gita hints at… That we have to live our life detached from results but tuned in to the process of life as a karma yogi.
Aditya was belligerent. He found my theory to be hedonistic at start.
You just speak like the way the new age mantra is… Everything is about experiences. Look at world around us. All that everyone cares about is what they are experiencing and how can they splurge and constantly experience the best pleasures they can dream of.
However – fine, I understand later when you mentioned the fact that our life is about all experiences that you are not a carvak.
But to me, the only point of life is to live. Survive. There is no other meaning. All organisms have a will to live generally. They fight to survive. To reproduce.
In fact if you look at the disposable soma theory… It mentions that by evolution we age or die because our genes decide to divert our bodies resources towards cell growth and reproduction. Hence the resources put in for cell maintenance and repair is considered secondary. And that leads to ageing and death. There is a trade off – and our genes themselves have an auto will to live to reproduce. And once we finish our sexual maturity, ability to reproduce or have done so… Our genes just give up keeping our body going.
We are hence biologically designed with a will to live and have a continuation to life… There is no other reason. So let us all just accept that reality and forget trying to frame spiritual theories.
Aditya was in quite a scientific and hard cold logic mood.
Suba however wasn’t as convinced… To her it was like, listen guys. You all seem to have a lot of time to think of all this. Clearly you are either not invested in what life has given you or you have not picked up in life what you need to.
I mean, I am a mother – I owe it to make sure my kids grow up well to succeed and I am so busy in that. I am a wife who wants to cater and believe that she is contributing to her home and husband’s happiness and again am so busy in that. I have a good group of friends – different ones add different things in my life. And I am looking forward always to get some time with them. I am a daughter or daughter in law whose parents are ageing and I am always thinking of their well being.
So basically guys – your minds are basically not hinged enough to things that life has to give and hence you all have these luxurious time to spend for all this mindful thinking. I say, stop all this. Immerse yourselves in what life has already given us and stop entertaining your empty minds. As the poet Walter Scott once said, “Oh what a tangled web we weave, When first we practice to deceive”… all this is nothing but your tangled tales to fill and deceive your empty minds.
You all have read the book man’s search of meaning by Viktor Frankl… What happened there? Huh Aditya? His will to live was only because he had a desire to meet his wife and to write that book. Basically attach yourself to the people and duties around you and life will have a meaning.
And the only thing that’s important is… That we hope that our efforts around our role is appreciated and that gives us the meaning to life.
And with that… We stopped.
Not sure if we convinced each other. Not sure if we were even contradicting or complementing each others thoughts. Whether we heard what the other wanted to say or we only heard and understood what we wanted to.
But we all felt good.