Criminal justice – behind close doors, Pink, Thappad, Article 370… These are all some recent Hindi movies or series that are centered around abuse of women…
And I remember them because after watching everyone of them, I have not slept well… Feeling very emotional, agitated in some cases and thoughtful in every…
Why do I introspect and start to analyse myself at deep levels after every such episode? Am I so guilty of such misdemeanors that those movies or series act as mirrors to my conscience?
It is difficult to judge… Am I guilty of being a make chauvinist pig? Am I not a good husband or a father or a manager? It’s hard to tell…
For social relationships can never be a formal clear cut contract, where both parties know clearly what is expected of the other and that any and every changes thereon will be subject to mutual agreement… Imagine a romantic relationship, a parent-child relationship, friendship – they cannot have that clarity. And god forbid they did – how dry and mundane life would be… The mismatch in expectations, wanting different things in life after years together are proof of the ambiguousness of social relationships. Social relationships are a 2 party customised affair… Generic moral values and legal constructs at any point of time can guide what is acceptable and give some measures to who is right at that period – but only a Sita can tell if Ram was a good husband or not. No other person’s or systems certificate matters… No other benchmarks matters but hers.
And that is why it’s difficult to judge if my introspection is an admission of true guilt or it is my over sensitive mind moulded as such by my feminist wife whom I care for so deeply. Depending on who hears my admissions, one can either agree that I am an unintentional, well meaning but still a work in progress entitled Indian man who is yet not there in terms of equality (gender or class)… Or a freakingly amazing person who is becoming overtly sensitive about trivial things that shouldn’t even matter and it shows how henpecked I am or am just wanting brownie points from the women kind or the liberals of the world.
There are no formal moral yardsticks to measure…
And I wonder do people in power position of any kind use certain arguments to give solace to their conscience, silence it, justify their acts or condone their transgressions…
Look at where they come from – I only made it better… Or just followed the norm – that’s how the world is… Or it’s not really the same to compare my actions… And so on…
Or are the people in that privileged position really getting an undue pressure to prove their morality… And are guilty unless proven innocent – with the birth of proof on them rather than the accuser… That the world is too eager to believe in the words of David, the underdog as true & root for him… And they are in moral matters distinctly at a disadvantage being the Goliath & by default considered the lying, exploiting aggressor…
Is then the cost of that privilege and power too high?
It’s an age old saying… Uneasy lies the head that wears the crown!
Inside VG... 