Why the heck you want to change? That is the title of the blog… Inspired from the movie Bala that I just saw…
I should admit that Bollywood movies in the last few years have been quite intelligent, realistic with times and not very so called “filmy” or over the top… and yet super entertaining… If what a society finds entertaining is a barometer of maturity and intelligence, then I am proud to say that Indian diaspora is coming of age – especially when movies like Bala are set in Tier 2 or 3 cities of India… that the sensibilities are percolating to the masses…
Anyways… the movie is about a decent, talented but balding man who has to come to terms with his reality and accept himself as he is and not lead a life chasing his past based untenable and fake dreams…
And the nuances of the storyline are like always in the characters…
A dark skinned girl, who from the very childhood is ridiculed for her colour… yet finds the strength to be herself and rises to become a confident lawyer – and who takes a strong offense at even the smallest of hint of anyone talking about her colour… becoming almost a crusader for her clients, friends or family to let not anyone body shame them and tell them in plain words without any sugar coating to accept themselves as they are and move on… of how somehow telling them to look for defining themselves with something better… She tells the hero – how she understands his pain – for when a 10 year girl is told incessantly that she is ugly, she for anything, understands it very well… What a feisty spirit… And by god – did I see Jainee, my wife in her character…
A model who no matter how shallow and social media lead she may behave… justifies how and why her desire to have a good looking husband is appropriate… that she barely passed in school – yet she got all the attention in school… why – because she looked pretty… she got modelling contracts as she grew up, had a billboard with her on it – why – because she looked nice… when she posts anything, out of 500 comments she at least gets, 499 mention looking good… that if her own ‘husband’ – the hero had to cover half his mirror to avoid looking at his baldness, how can she be expected to accept it… what a spirited argument to not throw the reality that we do place importance to looks… she didn’t say it – but she could that even she was wooed by the hero because she looked good… so no matter what the society says about inner beauty, ones look have an attraction…
An aunt who is stuck with facial hair and hence a lonely life, trying to post beautified pictures of her dark skinned niece on instagram profile that she created for her – so that she can get some marriage proposals going in order to ensure her niece does not have the same fate as her… and mentions so matter of factly that the body also has needs and hence needs a partner!
A dad who feels guilty for passing on his baldness and diabetic genes to his son… and blessed that he has his wife who has not left him because of the same issues… whilst staying in his father-in-laws home for 30 years…
And then there is our hero – who has a hard time to let go of his past image and redefine his future based on his present reality… and when the realization hits him… it is when he is selling fairness creams playing on insecurities of dark skinned women (talk of irony)… telling them that even if its highly unfair and not correct, we cannot change the mindset of the society… so… and then as the epiphany that has actually been building up – he reverses and says… but why do we want to change ourselves… for whom and for what… And what follows is a humorous social message on accepting oneself as they are and when they do, life becomes wonderful…
The movie English Vinglish also ended with a similar message… that when we don’t love our self, everything around us feels ugly… and when we start loving what we are – the same things feel different and good…
And it’s such an interesting concept – should we accept who we are and live happily… or should we actually make a dedicated attempt to make ourselves better… If I am fat, should I live happy – accepting it as part of my genes and lifestyle… or should I make an attempt to slim down with daily exercising and strict diet control… if I have dark patches on my skin, should I take strong medications that will lighten them – or should I just ignore and look past the initial stare’s that people might give… If I have a balding hairline, should I try to change hairstyle, use artificial hair, put on a wig, do hair transplant – or just be confident of myself and leave it as it is… And what if the thing is not physical… what if I am bad at English – should I make an attempt to learn the language so people can see my skills and talent, or just find an audience who can ignore the language deficiency… what if I am too honest and outspoken and that puts off people due to my directness – should I try and think diplomatically before speaking at the risk of not being myself but at least not offending everyone?
And that is where I loved the question our hero asks in the movie than the message he gives (for that message is not novel)… the question however is quite insightful…
Why you want to change? If that why is meaningful in your life… if it is the thing with which you define yourself.you define yourself... than swear to god, don’t give up and go for it… but if you are more than the reason for the change – than let it go… as the lawyer of our hero points out in the movie – that the man the model married was not just because of his looks – but also because of his decent and humorous nature… Than why should the hero hide and define himself with that 1 characteristic? And better accept himself beyond his looks… there are other better things to offer… but for the model – well her looks define her life and hence she is right and fair in her ask as well…
So ask – Badalna kyun hae be? And that is the hidden message of Bala…
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