Emotional Amnesia…

Vaibhav, like many other such events, you don’t remember the seriousness and the pain that incident in our life caused… My wife accused me whilst having a discussion on a difficult situation that someone else was going through…

She never forgets to use this emotional amnesia that I am supposedly having atleast once in a discussion where I am apparently winning… And that’s why I guess I am destined never to win an argument against her…

I do fight back… Telling her that the emotions and their intensity she claims we went though is a figment of her imagination… That she is a creative soul with a very fertile and active imagination which magnifies past emotions… That turns a news program into a soap opera…

But the truth is… I do tend to forget the level of sentiments of any event over a period of time… Wheter it’s joy or pain… Thrill or boredom… Some people can laugh and cry, live and relive in their past… Experiencing the same feelings as if it was happening right now… But to me, whilst the memory of the event is intact, the emotion behind it has evaporated… Suddenly the Bollywood, melodramatic movie of my life, when replayed in my memory, becomes a factual, passionless documentary… Boring I guess…

And it’s really very surprising… Because I am a very vivacious person in present… Very emotive… Very passionate… Feel extremely strongly… Happiness, frustration, sadness, thrills… Tears, laughter, anger… Everything is higher than normal in day to day situations…

On deliberating, l am giving solace to myself that probably I am happy living in the present… The power of now… That must be my mojo… Because isn’t living in the present and letting go of the past the mantra of a happy life… Remember the lessons, forget the pains… Isn’t that a saying for enjoying life?

Maybe it is not such a bad thing then after all…

But than that’s just half of the story… For to live in the present, you don’t only give up the emotions of the past… You also stop living with the worries and anxieties of the future…

And for a person who plays a new favourite song on loop every morning and escapes into a day dream… sometimes who day dreams even without music… Who is slogging it out in office, to cater to financial worries… And is not taking the decision from his heart, for they could lead to an uncertain future… I certainly should not be talking about letting go of the future…

But the emotional amnesia… It’s really a boon… Helps me forgive from my heart… Faster and genuinely… Detaches me from past joys, the non-pursuit of which today would have otherwise got me into depression…  Does not make me brood over past incidents and bind me to them…

So you know… Apart from losing in discussions with my wife, l really don’t mind having this issue… And what the heck, which husband wins arguments against their wife anyways… And with a wife as loving as mine, l don’t want to win in any case (honey, I hope you are reading this ;)…